A big happy first birthday to my baby girl, Sanaa! One of the most challenging but most rewarding job in life, is definitely being a mom (especially having 2under2). However, I wouldn’t want it any other way!
Susu is such an outgoing baby who loves spending time with her sister, being outdoors and drinking lots (LOTS) of milk! She has the sweetest smile that melts everyone’s heart! I wanted to just post a few pictures for memories sake but figured why not talk about her first year of life?! And my labor and delivery story from hell that thankfully has a happy ending.
When I talk about Susu (her nickname), I always have to mention how she’s always been such an easy and calm baby. You rarely hear of mothers getting enough sleep during the newborn phase. The first night home from the hospital and onward, she was on her own schedule, waking every 3-4 hours during the night to drink a bottle and falls back asleep. It was so easy compared to Rudeena’s newborn phase. She rarely cried during the day. Her entertainment was always her sister Rudeena and it was enough to keep her happy all day!
Now, at a year old, she’s a super fast crawler, where at times it kind of looks creepy. She’s standing up against furniture and takes a few steps here and there, which means she’s super close to walking, yay! She loves to yell and makes sure everyone hears her, loud and clear! She’s obsessed with clapping, cheering on for her sister! She’s still that very calm baby I brought home from the hospital. What’s even better? She sleeps through the WHOLE night!
I knew something good was going to come out of having a very painful delivery. After every hardship, ease follows.
I’m going to begin by sharing how I am a person who cannot tolerate pain. At all. I’m also, almost always, very anxious. I always prepare myself for the worst in any situation. But who the hell prepares for intolerable pain when they’re heavily medicated for delivery? Because this was the only time I hadn’t prepared myself.
I was put on Pitocin to induce labor and asked for the epidural ASAP. They put it in a lot earlier than they would for inductions. I made it very clear I don’t tolerate pain, I need it now! A few hours into the labor and having the epidural, I felt something wasn’t right. The numbness had reached my whole chest and neck. I let the anesthesiologist know and he told me he was going to “turn it down a bit.” I was completely fine with that but again stated I don’t want to feel ANY pain! “Don’t turn it down too much.” I knew exactly what was going to happen. He WAS going to turn it down too much. Lo and behold, he had turned it OFF. If you don’t know what Pitocin is, it is a very strong medication that induces and progresses labor. Guess who jumped from 6 to 10 cm in ten minutes. I did! And guess whose epidural was OFF right at the moment labor progressed so quickly? MINE.
I felt it all. I finally knew what “The Ring of Fire” felt like and to say the least, it was the most pain I’ve ever felt my whole entire life. If that’s not bad enough, here’s more. My doctor didn’t it make it in time for delivery since I progressed much quicker than anyone would’ve expected. There was only one doctor at L&D that day. As I was screaming in pain and felt her crowning, the on call doctor was dealing with another patient whose baby was in distress. I was staring at nurses who looked horrified which in turn made me feel the same way. L&D nurses are trained to deliver babies. But it doesn’t mean they have delivered any and that’s why they had those looks on their faces, which ultimately made me more anxious and everyone around me.
I wasn’t ready for a natural birth but I’ve come out of it so much stronger! It was such a scary experience but right afterwards I felt like I was on cloud 9. It definitely changes a woman. It changes her for the better. Even if I had the chance to go back and re-deliver her, I wouldn’t change a thing. It was the most painful but most rewarding and refreshing feeling ever.